Thursday, 24th April '03
Pepsi: Ask for More
The scene is a sepia-toned western, ladies in long dresses and cowboys in breeches saunter by. The street clears as a posse of horsemen ride up to a tavern in a pile of dust. The horsemen, each clad in a muddy-brown trenchcoat and hat (and a disturbingly red undershirt) dismount, and we see a familiar insignia stamped on their saddles. The camera zooms in on the bottom of the swinging tavern doors and we wait, with bated breath, to see the silouhette of booted feet and hear the chink of spurs on the grubby wooden platform. Instead we hear the dull click of... soccer boot studs.
BWAAHAHAHA... this is shaping up to be once of THE most interesting advertisements I have ever seen and our darling Manchester United and Real Madrid stars do not disappoint. The posse of muddy-brown trenchcoats swagger in, and the tavern's clientel (all suspiciously dressed in dusty-cream trenchcoats and black hats) stop and stare, hostility written all over their faces. Someone is evidently trespassing on someone's territory. The leader of the muddy-brown posse strides over to the bartender, and the eyes of the dusty-creams follow his every move. As he raises his head so that light falls beneath the brim of his hat, we recognise the pointed stubble-covered chin and immaculately styled blonde hair. Becks leans on the bar counter and in a valient effort to make his only line sound cool, goes "Pepsi." *this is where both Dad and I collapse in a helpless giggling heap*
The bartender obediently slides a bottle of the coveted beverage towards Becks, but it's journey is abruptly halted by a gloved hand. It is the champion of the dusty-creams! It's Casillas! Obviously, Casillas takes a big swig of Pepsi and Beckham's face darkens (you'd think Casillas was trying to get fresh with Posh or something). There is only one way to settle this dispute. It is the way of all westerns. It is the ultimate showdown and only one can live to tell the tale. It is... *good grief*... a FREE KICK?
They set up in front of the Barber shop's window and do the mandatory staring at each other. Outside the Barber shop a sign is tacked. "Wanted. Rivaldo." And who emerges to watch the action but - you guessed it - Rivaldo himself. The camera view shifts and a shadow of a rather irregular bald head is being shaved in the Barber shop, apparently oblivious to the drama outside. Casillas readies himself to pounce and Becks concentrates.Who will survive? Will we see Beckham, well, Bend It Like Beckham? Or will Casillas win the day? Becks sheds the ugly trenchcoat and reveals his full battle order. So does his opponent. The sudden flash of red and blue is blinding. Beckham sticks his fingers in his mouth (Oi! Watch it! You could get SARS!) and whistles. Becks' horse backs up and blasts the ball past the confuddled Casillas' head, shattering the Barber's window.
It is over! Man U wins! Cheers and high-fives from the muddy-brown coats, grumpy snorts from the dusty-creams. The bartender rushes out of the tavern bearing the spoils of the war... bottles of Pepsi in an ice bucket. Heaven on Earth. The Man U players celebrate. That is, until a short, stocky figure emerges from the Barber shop, a little mohawk of shaving cream still smeared on his shining dome. Dad and I collapse again as the figure reveals itself to be one very pissed off Roberto Carlos. The Man U players scatter and Becks is left alone to face the music. (This is to be continued, I hope.)
Wow. I never knew a commercial synopsis could be THAT long! But this is the best commercial I have seen since the Nike Scorpion knockout last year and that nice "So the pit-plucker picks the pits from the premium plump prunes Sunraisia picked to produce its Premium Plum Prune Juice and paddles the pile of pits to the Prune Pit Palace on Prune Pit Peak?" advert. This has to be the most expensive advert ever, considering the players' fees and the fact that it lasts all of two minutes! But who cares, lately advertisements have been boring as anything and it is high time we had a good one like this. I love this commericial and have a new goal in life. One day I will direct a commercial with big football stars. They seem to be wonderful physical comedians (in other words, clowns). No two ways about it, I WANT MORE!
Watch the ad here.All images here from www.pepsi-football.co.uk
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]