Friday, 21st November '03
More Than I Can Chew
Congratulations, En Ying. You've gone and done it again. But this time you've screwed it up even worse. Well done.
The last time I have felt panic like this was in J1. Before the first ever common test and while experiencing the stresses of council life for the first time. This is not my usual pre-function pre-exam I-know-I've-put-in-the-required-work-and-I-am-just-freaking-out-coz-it's-what-I-do type of panic. Hell no. It's I-honestly-cannot-finish-what-I-need-to-do-oh-God-help-me type of panic. I know I told myself then if I could get through that I could get through anything. I'm beginning to feel pretty unsure about that now.
And it's sad for me too that I want to whine and rant at someone but I can no longer find anyone to rant to. The used to be people who shared my traumas... in 401, in the 21st... all going through the exact same thing. The same papers, the wame external workload. Not anymore. No one's going to emphatize in quite the same way. It doesn't mean I don't have friends who care and won't try their absolute hardest and do all they can and more to try and comfort me, tell me I'm fine and I'm a hardworking person and all that kind of stuff. I do and they will. And I love them for it. I just don't want to bother them to do it now, since I don't know how busy they are now, what kind of stresses they're going through etc..
So I'm left with this here musings page.
Yeah, once again I've bitten of more than I can chew. Too many things at KR, school work, TFYE - that's a particularly irritating bit. It looked like just a little at the start, now it's swollen to gargantuan proportions and well, it's a bit overwhelming lah.
But I can take it. Don't anyone panic. I know I can.
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]