Wednesday, 28th January '04

Lazy Hazy Crazy Days

Lazy - yesterday. Handed up memo, so felt pretty deserving of a break. Wrote and freaking long entry only previously matched by my Tzo-called (tzo-called? SO-called? Geddit? Geddit? *rolls eyes at own incorrigible lameness) "Gossip Thesis".

Hazy - me during contract lectures. And always after I've spent a good few hours digesting like... two cases, and wondering where all the time went and where the hell I'm going to get more. Cannot make it leh.Tomorrow we close the series of "Mistake" lectures and I'm guessing the biggest mistake of all is that I don't even know the difference between "void" and "voidable". The only thing I understand is the lecturer's jokes - he has exactly the same sense of humour I have.

Crazy - Chong Tze Chien. Ha, no lah. He just pushes us harder than Serena or anyone else has ever pushed us, and I guess it'll take a while for everyone to get used to the style. And it's disgusting how I always wind up the subject of the most brutal character-building exercises. If the one with Errol previously sounded bad, you can't beat this one. Me and Siti. Freaking difficult issue of euthanasia. Poor girl screaming her head off in her character's pain. Me sitting there wondering what the FREAK I'm gonna do. I know TC's improv style better than to just let her die easy or to walk out of the scene. Will die man. Anyway, it got a little too close to heart, bumped into a situation to which I can draw a parallel in my life and I can't resolve and am feeling a shitload of guilt about (pardon the language). Bottomline: En Ying bawling like a baby in front of a room full of people and En Ying's character having a screamfest with TC's "disembodied voice".

Sigh, he somehow has this way of hitting my raw nerves in improv. But I kinda think his CB exercises kinda examine my own character, and if I don't take care I'll wind up knowing more of me than I want to. Anyway, after the whole thing, I was feeling rather naked. But thanks to Siti who shared the "improv hell" (Ave's term) with me, Tasha who listened to my REAL issue after that as I was recovering, Fit who patted my shoulder, Audrey who handed me tissue, Beck who popped over to just give support and Ave who realised I needed a hug and "[gave] it to me".

And no fair, the other folk's improvs (basically everyone but me and Siti) were so relaxed. Feel cheated, *grin*.

And then we had this mini thrashing-out session which I think was pretty timely. Some of us, me included, needed to hear some things I guess, but the tension was so thick you could cut it with a butter-knife. I don't care if that's a cliche.

Anyway, should go and read Ave's blog soon. She's got a load of things to say about my improv that apparently will make me cry all over again. SIGH.

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 11:14 pm
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]

smile shocked sad
big grin razz *wink wink* hey baby
angry, grr blush confused
cool crazy cry
sleepy hehe LOL
plain jane rolls eyes satisfied