Saturday, 13th March '04
Perhaps Eminem puts it down best:
"It's like my mother always told me... ... Goddammit you little motherfucker, if you ain't got nothing nice to say than don't say nothing."
He has this terrific way of putting things into words so simply. Honest, I mean that. I can't usually agree with his language (and hence I self-censor) but there you go, the essence of it, really.
But here I am, putting things somewhat not-very-nice things to say down on the world wide web. I know some people do it unabashedly, childishly and distastefully and I will not comment on how rude that can be, but hey! Freedom of speech, yeah? You have every right to do so.
An therefore so do I.
A privelleged few have actually heard me use the words "social retard" in the flesh, and that means I've probably vented to you (or you to me), in the effort to keep all of us nice to these very difficult people we run into everyday.
But WHY BOTHER sometimes? Out of a sense of decency most of us have? Even towards people who can seem very much like the scum of the Earth? Personally I know I try to hard to be "everything to everyone" (I don't know who sang that song), and most of my gang of commiserants (is that even a word?) are nice tolerant people. But _aiyoh_, there are some people who just make you want to shove a red-hot poker up their rectums and leave them to writhe in the pain and misery of barbequed fecal matter. Yes, my dears, you do NOT want to mess with me today. Am in a very murderous mood.
So what to me makes a social retard? A social retard is a cumulative thing, a combination of factors that work together to make a person truly intolerable. Mind you, we all exhibit these qualities in some degree or another, yours truly finding a good number in herself. But the socially inept person just exhibits all these in their respective extremes and with no apology (even worse, with pride), and refuse to learn to correct their mistakes. The best part? The social retard has the nerve to complain about other people showing these same flaws.
So here goes my synthesis on the elements of the social retard: (if this sounds disturbingly like a case judgement, you may be right!)
1. They have a LOT to complain about. They're self-righteous and judgmental.
2. They give unsolicited comments about the most unimportant of things. They don't treat the person they're talking to like a PERSON, but more like someone to put down to hide their own pathetic insecurities. They fail spectacularly to abide by Eminem's mother's advice, basically.
3. They attempt to parasite themselves on other people's friends. Sometimes they try to poach them.
4. They don't just attract attention; they attract attention. I say this last bit with the full effect of eye-rolling and sliding inflection.
5. They honestly believe the world revolves around them and their insignificant problems.
6. They blame the trouble they get into because of their own lack of social appropriacy on everyone but themselves.
7. Alternatively, they attribute it to a discrimination of a certain class of people to which they belong, never once realising it might just be them.
8. They victimise themselves and think the entire universe is out to get them (read: why does everyone hate me?).
9. They think they are everything to everyone.
10. They take every kind gesture towards them as either a profession of everlasting friendship or love.
11. They're basically presumptious.
12. They think they're being extremely cool when they bitch or make childish insults. Normal people do this with a sense of moderation and a certain intuition about when enough is enough. Social retards don't.
13. They get jealous easily and, in the interests of truth, quite futilely.
14. They don't take no for an answer.
15. They are too cowardly to tell people outright what they feel about them, and go through grapevines and anonymous messages to do it.
16. They make you feel sad because everyone has to try so hard to be nice to them. It must be a terrible way to live a life.
17. They refuse to accept that people are different and that their view of the way the world is isn't always the way things should be.
18. They inspire people NOT to bitch about them behind their backs, but rather to discuss their flaws with cold analysis and pity. And to stuff red-hot pokers up their rectums, of course.
19. They will probably take this entry very personally and start sending this writer hatemail, hence proving this writer's point.
Whee! One trait for every year of my existence and experience with the 6 social retards I now know.
[2 photographs developed.]