Sunday, 5th February '06
Wah Liao Eh. 有没有搞错？
This is another one of those absurdly strange incidents that need blogging just so I can record it as another one of those "never resist the unfamiliar" experiences:
I HAVE NEVER GONE OUT WITH 3 GUYS ONLY TO BE DITCHED BY ALL 3 IN ONE NIGHT.
Whoo! One more little anecdote to regale the folks back home with. An anecdote that I already shared with Bert and brought on rather indignant reactions. Hurhur. And so much for telling Mum not to worry, my friends here are nice guys who will make sure I get home in one piece.
I swear, this kind of situation - don't know whether to laugh or cry. The cry part would be pretty obvious... the laugh part... have you ever tried spending time alone in a club by yourself? It's a refreshing experience, though not a terribly fun one. You get to stalk the place alone, take time to mentally criticise all the girls who wear clothes that don't fit them, people watch and be amused at the dance moves that people can come up with (the most amusing are usually the short fart guys who dance alone - one admires both their gumption and utter lack of shame).
But at the same time you can mooch around and wonder at the utter patheticness of being abandoned by your current company in a completely random place. It's not a feeling I'm used to, seeing as everytime I've been out in Singapore I've been surrounded by people whom we're so comfortable with we can all just whack silly Rick Astley / Timmy Thomas type music without the least embarrassment. (Or maybe it's just the fact that I've been a dancer for 15 years that I don't need alcohol for the dutch courage - if we had to drink to dance I think Zaini would have a blue fit. And the blocking would be such a royal mess. Hahaha.)
It can make one a little bit thoughtful... and at one point I pondered the question of whether I should even have gone in the first place. It's not that current company is bad, nor do I think I myself am particularly bad company, but it's more of a "pattern don't click" issue. Back home it would have been the case that we'd all move in the same circles subconciously. Even if I were out with, say, a whole bunch of dudes like say Jem, Jer, Wenz or whoever... I'd KNOW what's in their heads, and I would never have to worry about losing them simply because the culture is a come-together-leave-together thing.
Here it's more a case of: oops, my friend just disappeared. Should I look for him? Or has he gone to pick up a girl? In which case I think I will get out of the way, before the lightbulb grows too bright. And how am I supposed to know the difference anyhow? *shrug*
Complicated, yeah? It's not a bad thing... it's about learning a whole different social ettiquette. Mich was right about that point... that you don't realise how bloody Asian you are until you leave Asia. It's not about values or anything like that. It's more like conversing in a whole new language sometimes... relearning what the social norms are, what you're expected to say in reaction to certain things.
Like in the midst of my solitary exploration of Pacifico... this dude starts a conversation with me about, um, me. He's friendly enough, I suppose - not entirely one of those weirdos that I tend to attract around here (man, what happened to nice pretty boys?), and starting out with "Hi, my name is XXX." is about a good a way to start as any. But although he was a perfectly decent, nice, unassuming fella, my train of thought went something like this:
1. Ok, hi, WHY are you talking to me?
2. Right, at least he isn't standing too close.
3. Why do you want to know how often I come here?
4. Dude. I think you're a bit old to be here anyways.
5. You're nice, but let go of my hand.
6. How do I excuse myself nicely?
7. Why is it that I have no desire WHATSOEVER to talk to new people in these situations? No one else seems to have any trouble doing that.
8. Yeah, I know what "fly" means, thanks for the compliment. I've watched enough American TV.
9. You like the hat? Thanks. (Ahahah, just a week ago Vicki's big brother, Ervin, told me I looked like a bloody communist in it.)
10. Alright, where the HELL are the guys I came with? I need a reason to get out of this.
11. Oh yeah, I lost them a while ago.
I guess what I found strange about the whole situation was that it reflects nothing of the social ettiquette that I know - that you don't talk to strangers, and that when you say you're going with friends you go with friends. It's kinda all on its head now - you're supposed to talk to strangers, evidently, and when u go with friends you all split up as quickly as you came.
Put it down to another enlightening exchange experience! Like they say, I gotta learn something from Canada.
[3 photographs developed.]
ok..i dunno what to say..haha..get used to it!
hahaahaa... will do, man.
dage... *kaobehs* 我很 sian.
hey girl, I can't agree more with the 'u'll never know how asian u are until u get out of asia'. haha..had similar expereince before! Anyway, how's the asian dinner u prepared? Hope it turned out good!!