Tuesday, 21st March '06

Time's A-Wastin'

I don't even know why I'm blogging. There's nothing good to say. There's only major paper research to avoid reading. So here are a bunch of completely random things that invaded my mind tonight:

1. What to Do During Summer?

No news on the Research Assistant gig. Am mildly antsy about that. But then there are three options thereafter: hang around here (Halifax) and get some summer (which is cool 'coz all the summer things open only around mid-may), go travelling (Heng's got this whole Europe thing planned out. UK, Italy, Turkey, Greece, Prague... now question where the money's going to come from), go home early and attempt to get a job (or worry about pupillage applications). With all the pubbing and clubbing done here, it has suddenly occured to me that I would make a good door bitch. Really, rowdy Singaporeans are nothing.

Sitting here typing I also realise that the scars of St Patrick's Day are not washing off. That Lower Deck stamp has some powerful ink.

2. Tiger Beer. Really?

Ahmed (guy who lives across the corridor from me, he took over Zenith's room) stopped by for random chitchat today. Which is cool, he's a nice fella. It's damn funny lah, he left me a random message in his post-St Pat's drunkenness - a message so badly scrawled neither of us has been able to figure out what it says with any degree of certainty. So we were talking about that, Singapore and BC (he's from Vancouver) and other oddball things and then eventually he pulled out a bottle from his room and was like: hey, I have to show you this!

Whaddya know. A Tiger Beer bottle. HAHAHA. It was kinda funny; he was telling me how much he liked it, how you can only get it from this exclusive little wineshop above Pete's (NOW I know), and how cute the trademark was (tiger under a palm tree) - and honest to goodness, Tiger Beer was the last thing I thought I would ever be proud of Singapore for producing, but there was a surprisngly little tingling in the cockles of my Singaporean heart.

I always knew I had patriotic tendencies.

And the bottle he had was brewed by Asia-Pacific Breweries (we all know this), but at ALEXANDER ROAD. So it's DIRECT FROM THE HOMETOWN. I guess this would not be a good time to bring up the horrific "Tiger-Nation" adverts.

3. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

This must be a mark of how random I'm feeling today. I'm making it a point to look up at least one current affair / pop culture icon in Wikipedia everyday. Today I have sucessfully read up on everything from the Taiwan independence movement to Chuck Norris' biography. No one gives a rat's ass about him back home (although I do remember watching Walker: Texas Ranger eons ago), but there were so many references to him here I had to find out what he was all about.

Frankly, the man himself is not much more than a nothing. It was the "Chuck Norris Facts" that spawned the huge cult following, and I have to admit I'm now hooked. They're side-splitting and so inane... Qiong, you'd like it - though admittedly you'd have to be a bit of a pop culture buff. They're simply a collection of phrases of describing Chuck Norris' absurd "superpowers", and you'd be surprised to find out how many exceedingly stupid but at the same time clever ways of depicting the man's super-human strength, killing / maiming ability / virility etc.

Some of my favourites (that had me laughing like a nutjob):

- Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
- Chuck Norris always knows the exact location of Carmen Sandiego.
- Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
- Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
- Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck Norris' personal chef.
- The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauronís ass halfway through the first chapter.
- Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
- Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
- 握虎藏龙. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris".
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.

Ok, now that I've settled down a bit... not so funny. But entertaining nonetheless.

4. Zoolander

Yeah, finally got down to watching it. Was feeling in a rebellious mood after reading all that Singapore Elections news (it was banned in Singapore, and our analysis here is that the only reason this could be so is because the plotline involves the assaination of the PM of Malaysia). It's actually surprisingly funny for a Ben Stiller flick - I don't usually put much stock in slapstick comedy but this one had some gems.

5. Singapore Elections

Is the time again for the all the politicians in Singapore to go around shaking hands in coffee shops, wearing Vanda Miss Joaquims around their necks and otherwise being all smiley and friendly. Is also time to anticipate my Public Law professor writing another intriguing and anger-inducing article about gerrymandering and other Consitutional violations.

In the meantime, I'm just hoping that I get to vote this time. It's so ironic... in countries where there's actually a chance to vote, they have to beg the citizens to go down and do it. In my country, the citizens are begging to vote, and despite the techically democratic society, we never get to because it's a walkover in just about every constituency. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I won't vote PAP - because they're doing such an excellent job and really, if it ain't broke... the point is that I want the OPTION to not choose them. The excellent thing is that I think 57 out of 84 seats this year are estimated to be contested, and as far as AsiaOne's online news goes, my East Coast GRC might actually have an opposition team set up - for the first time in... oh, I dunno, the history of Singapore?

And then I came across this article - which just about caused me to splutter helplessly at the computer screen: PM Lee says PAP aiming to win all wards in upcoming General Election. I love you, Hsien Loong, but DO YOU NOT SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS?! Does it not chill the very marrow of your bones that the ENTIRE PARLIAMENT CONSISTS OF ONE POLITICAL PARTY? As it stands we have to have PAP backbenchers play-acting opposition; MUST you highlight this glaring glitch in our Westminster system for the entire world's benefit? It's not masak-masak, I also say, and I really don't expect you to be giving anyone any chances - but for heaven's sake, don't say it like it's a GOOD THING. It's almost embarrassing. All I want is that you RECOGNIZE that it's a problem. Ah doi.

Ok, that's it for the random ramblings. Night, all.



en ying snapped a shot of life @ 12:41 am
[2 photographs developed.]


2 photographs developed.

bert:

actually its no more tiger-nation but JESSICA ALBA!! shes the spokesperson for tiger now, not sure if u've seen the add already.. gd grief, i cant even remember when u left.. oh ya! 23aug, when i jus started sch.. lol

en:

jessica alba. no shit. i gather that makes you pretty happy... i bet all the tiger ah peks (and maybe some young punks like you) kena nosebleed. i remember you and the sin city posters... did you ever find one? i can get you one on the way home...

and no, i've never seen it. did they make her wear the orange baby t and navy blue miniskirt that the aunties at the seafood restaurants wear?





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