Sunday, 23rd April '06
If you didn't know there was something more repulsive than Singlish written down, there's always Benglish to take it to a new low. That having been said, the KennySia Benglish Translator is deceptively good - not in its ability to take a perfectly respectible website and Bengify it, but just because it looks authentic and as if that was the way it was supposed to be.
See, for example, my "European Boys are Best Served Drunk" entry. Beware, it REALLY is rather crude, seeing as the transalator works by turning every
"I" --> "Limpeh"
"guy" --> "pukima"
"him" --> "lan jiao face"
"he" --> "cheebye kia"
I shouldn't even be TYPING words like these. Even my Mum wouldn't approve. She being the first person I ever heard calling someone a "pukima" - I believe road rage runs in the family . It's amazing how many Chinese swear words we have to describe genitals. Speaking of which, I think I had a discussion with some of the guys a while back and I've decided that Hokkien is the premier language of swearing. No other language has swear words as nasty as we do.
I have a high threshold for Singlish, but even this is a bit much.
HOWEVER, the Benglish Translator does have ONE saving grace - the fact that it can translate TZO'S words into Benglish. I love the way her comment now reads:
"Glad the show was damn power -- then again why wouldn't it be? Meanwhile Limpeh plod away at burning the 2am desk lamp (!!). Try not to feel too sad about peepur leaving... you can try to keep in touch (with the chao ginahs anyway ) and there are plenty of peepur back home who miss you wa si sure!"
Now the mere thought of something like that coming from Tzo sends me into convulsions.
And you'll excuse the Jefferson Starship endline, please. I'm tired from mugging.
We built this city on rock and roll!
[10 photographs developed.]
ah hahaha. Back to the the ants, they are confusing little buggers. (I wonder what, if anything, Benglish makes of bugger. !!)
AHAHAHAHAHA. good one. imagining tzo saying that at all....is priceless *LOL*
Sigh. En, En, En. "pukima" is not Chinese. It's Malay. "puki" refers to the female genitalia, and "ma" is short for "mak" which means mother. Hahaha. So "pukima" is more like "f uck you".
i didn't say pukima was chinese lah. i'm insulted you would thing i didn't know that! sheesh. ah doi. even i know it's malay.
i was saying the hokkien is the best swearing language, independently of the examples cited.
(after all, i DID survive tfye!)
thank goodness i'm only proficient in singlish.. not benglish.. i've converted my whole household to singlish already over here
your household are all asians... that's not too bad! (although the honkys would be vaguely amusing.) i never want to hear my friends here speak singlish. EVER.
how's the married couple anyway? i heard so much about them i feel like i know them.
omg! thats hilarious! trying to imagine tzo saying that sends me into fits too! haha.. gd one chickx
Haha. You lumped "puki mak" along with "Lanjiao" and "Cheebye" and "Limpeh", and you also said this:
"guy" --> "pukima"
Which is really nothing like what it means at all.
nono... i'm saying that's what the benglish translator does. the translator doesn't work by MEANING what.
it does it by fitting the words into context: so if i said "those guys are good" it becomes "those pukima are damn power".
see what i mean?