Friday, 12th May '06
I Think I Preferred "Pulchritudinous"
Gosh, I hate Spam. If it weren't for gmail's amazing filter, I would have had to change my email add again. And now I'm CERTAIN I got entangled in some crazy porno mailing list. I've just gotten 117 porn related Spam in TWO DAYS.
The thing is, the last I heard, porn used to come with really cheesy, but still at least "clever" sort of puns on famous movies. You know, like "Armaggedditon" or "Lawrence of A Labia" or "the Porn Identity". Of course they're laughable, but you kinda want to give them a bit of a pat on the back for coming up with those horrific names. I mean, it has to take some effort.
Now it's just all bad English, spiced up with words that they might have taken from an SAT word list. Maybe it's Russian English, I don't know - more than half the things feature Russians (or "Russsianss", to be exact). At least it still makes for good annoyed-blogging fodder.
Check out my top 10 picks:
10. admirable Hussy in hardcord fuucking
-- "Admirable". What an adjective to use. I think I preferred "pulchritudinous". Tell me why "Hussy" has a capitalised "H"?
9. comely teens in bukkkake action
-- Sorry I'm a little bit dumb when it comes to this, but what's "bukkkake"?
8. Just well-favoured Lady suckingg Dick
-- I don't understand. If they had at least said well-FLAVOURED it might have made more sense.
7. superb Ladies and innocent little charming pusssies
-- Every guy's perfect girl, I'm sure.
6. aesthetical Younngest Eighteen in hard fucking
-- Aesthetical? AESTHETICAL??! *falls over laughing* For all the things I think porn is supposed to be good for, aesthetics doesn't quite seem to be one of them.
5. bonny Lady and innocent little aesthetical pussies
-- My Bonny lies over the ocean, my Bonny lies over the (pu)-sea! Bad pun, I apologise.
4. goluptious ruusian Cuties in pono
-- This is just ONE example of the numerous "goluptious" mails I have. I assumed it was a mangeld "voluptous" but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's another GRE word.
3. grandiose Sluuts in hardcorre actionn
-- More adjective havoc. To throw in another in the same vein, see also resplendent Cutties in hardcore acttion. *sigh*
2. Have you ever seen elegant Eighteenns get fuccked in every holes?
-- No, can't say that I have.
And my all time favourite:
1. Russsian brilliant Sluts here doing pretty-pretty blowwjob.
Kaoz. Can die laughing. These are so funny I almost don't even want to delete them.
[3 photographs developed.]
tom cruise + jon rhys meyers in one show? that's a flick i gotta see I need smth drool-worthy around here have a safe flight back!
Wah, so many vulgarities on your blog! The End of Days have come. Haha!
Psst. Bukkake means... Uh. I'll tell you on MSN. Heh.
i haven't watched it and already i think it's a BIG BIG BIG waste. He should be the lead, dammit! haha