Thursday, 6th July '06

Isn't It Funny...

- How God always ends up making my big lifetime decisions for me. Like seriously, I think he thinks I'm just too dumb to do it myself. Amazingly enough this time he actually gave me a choice, but he gave a damn disgustingly difficult call to make. He never goes easy on me. NEVER. Shit. You're a sneaky old man, up there, you know? Basket.

- How I can be disturbed about a $2000-$500-$4000/gymmembership/PDA/medicalbenefits deal. I tell you how lah, it's because I feel like a sell out. Well, not in the strictest sense of it, but I did feel like I traded happiness for fame and fortune. In the harshest terms. For Heaven's sake, it's work. It's not supposed to be fun. Stop being a hapless romantic fool.

- How I really think I will have no patience about the extended family oohing and ahhing and saying "En Ying's so clever" about this.

- How talking to Kai just made me realize it's because I'm scared. Scared shitless, dude. Like maybe I should go curl up in a corner and bawl like a baby.

- How stupid an idea that is.

- How the moment I decide I like a football team, they get kicked out. The World Cup is officially over for me.

- How positive a person I am but how my sudden emo outbursts are always negative nature. Like I say "DIE tonight, PORTUGAL!" instead of "Go France!"

- How I've never been so disturbed as to lose my appetite. But it's true, it's just GONE, thanks to the stress. Bloody hell. I just stared down orhluak, hokkien mee, hahm-her and kailan without flinching.

- How that is NOT attributable to the WC.

- How I just feel like cursing for no apparent reason. In every language I can think off. I tell you, the number of internationals I've met lately, it adds up to quite a bit. KNNBCCB. Ain't about the football either.

- How I still know deep down inside it's all going to be OOOOOKKKK. Shit, every intellectual fibre of me says this is a good thing.

- How blasting Eminem's "Shake that Ass" was oddly comforting - violent, non-women-respecting lyrics and all.

- How I'm always so thankful for Jia and Kai and these moments.

- How this is STILL a quarterlifecrisis, holy hell.

- How once again these words have meaning: "Either way I wonder sometimes about a still verdictless life / Still "everything happens for a reason" is no reason not to ask myself if I am living it right"

- How at the end of all this I'm just going to shut up, suck it, and go to bed.

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 01:01 am
[4 photographs developed.]

4 photographs developed.




thanks qiong... you = big help too... i just wish the huggle didn't have to be virtual. hhaa crazy

but i think i made peace with it. re-watching WAY too many F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes helped a LOT.


chillax babe


i wish the huggle was realy too =)

but *HUGGLE* anyway, and a *glomp* for good measure =)

blog someting else =) and maybe you'll be better =)

smile shocked sad
big grin razz *wink wink* hey baby
angry, grr blush confused
cool crazy cry
sleepy hehe LOL
plain jane rolls eyes satisfied