Saturday, 7th October '06
The Chocolate Cock
Look what Limin and I found while browsing through the little shelf of books at the Pacific Coffee Club today. It was too good not to blog.
The following is reproduced under s. 36 of the Copyright Act (Cap. 64, 2006 Rev. Ed. Sing.)., fair dealing for the purposes of criticism and review.
Enid Blyton, "The Chocolate Cock" in The Ugly Scarecrow and Other Stories (London: Award Publications, 1989) at 161-172.
My favourite bits in bold.
Once there was piece of chocolate in the shape of a cock. The chocolate cock stood right in the very middle of a sweetshop window, and all the children came to look at him. He was very proud of himself indeed.
“I am the Chocolate Cock!” he crowed. “I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!”
He was priced at two pounds fifty pence, and none of the children that came to look at the cock could afford to buy him. They just stood and looked at him.
One day the chocolate cock got a dreadful shock. Just next to him stood a little chicken in chocolate, with a marzipan egg on it’s back. It had stood by him for a long time, and the chocolate cock had gotten quite friendly with it.
Then suddenly the hand of the shopkeeper stretched out into the window and the little chick with the egg was lifted out – and, oh my, the next thing that the cock saw was the chick in the hand of a little boy outside the window – and the little boy was eating the chick’s head off!
That seemed perfectly dreadful to the chocolate cock! And then what do you think the little boy said? He said, “Ha, Chocolate Cock! Your turn next! You look so proud, but wait till I eat you! When my uncle gives me some money tomorrow, I’ll come and buy you!”
That made the chocolate cock shiver and shake. It put him into a temper and a fright both together, and he simply didn’t know what to do.
“To think that I, the Chocolate Cock, should be eaten by a horrid little boy with dirty hands!” he cried. “I am the Chocolate Cock, the handsomest bird in the world! I will not be eaten!”
“Chocolate is made to be eaten,” said a marzipan potato. “Don’t be so proud, Chocolate Cock. You are meant to be eaten, like the rest of us.”
But the chocolate cock wouldn’t believe it. He made up his mind to run away before the little boy could buy him. Then he would find a farmyard and show all the animals and birds there that he was the finest and handsomest bird in the world!
But he didn’t get a chance to run away till the little boy came next day to buy him. Then he gave a loud squawk and jumped out of the window, landed on the shop counter, jumped to the floor, and raced to the door and out of it before the shopkeeper or the surprised little boy could stop him.
“I am the Chocolate Cock!” he crowed, as he strutted down the street. “I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!”
A little girl heard him and stared at him in wonder. When she saw that he was made of chocolate, she though she would like to eat him. So she suddenly put out her hand to take him, and if the chocolate cock hadn’t been very quick, he would have been caught. He jumped down just in time, and tore off as fast as he could, dodging between the feet of horses, dogs, sheep and men very cleverly indeed.
I must really find a farmyard, he thought. Then I will get them to make me king, for I am the handsomest bird in the world – there is no doubt of that. Than I shall be very happy.
So he wandered of till he came to a fine farmyard. There was a pig in it, with eight piglets. There was a donkey looking over a gate. There were two goats tied up near by. There were horses and cows, and so many turkeys, geese, hens and ducks that the chocolate cock couldn’t have counted them if he had tried.
He flew up on the wall and flapped his wings.
“Listen, all of you”, he cried. “I am the Chocolate Cock!” he crowed. “I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!”
“I am clever” he cried. “I am wise. I am the wise and clever Chocolate Cock!”
All the animals and birds stared solemnly at him. Rover the farmyard dog, licked his lips, and looked longingly at the chocolate cock. “I am wiser than any of you. I am a great and wonderful bird, for I am the Chocolate Cock!”
“If you are so wise, why do you stand in the sun?” asked Rover.
“Why shouldn’t I?” asked the cock angrily. “You stand in the sun! Why shouldn’t I?”
All the farmyard animals and birds turned to stare at him, and the chocolate cock felt very proud. He crowed more loudly than ever.
“You are chocolate and I am not,” said the dog, and all the animals and birds stared harder than ever; for something was happening to the chocolate cock!
His wings drooped, his beak grew longer. His tail began to lose its shape. He was melting, and he didn’t know it. The sun was much too strong for him.
But he wasn’t going to get down from the wall, not he.
“I shall stand in the sun as much as I like!” he cried. “I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the Chocolate Cock! I am the handsomest bird in -- the -- world -- for -- I –“
What was the matter with the chocolate cock? He could crow no more! He could no longer flap his wings. He had melted in the hot sun! There he lay on the wall, a big pool of brown chocolate. Poor, silly old chocolate cock!
“Ah, well,” said Rover, the farmyard dog. “It’s a pity to waste anything!”
And he ran up to the wall and licked up all that was left of the vain chocolate cock!
Enid Blyton is a dirty old woman lah. Sigh. To think that poor little children are reading this around the world translated into a million different languages. Imagine the followins scenarios:
- Primary school kids are trying to collect badges for the school avid reader programme. Little kid approaches a Reading Mom to whom he needs to demonstrate his reading of an exerpt from his favourite book. Kid: "Once there was a piece of chocolate in the shape of a cock..."
- Little girl picks said story to read for her Speech & Drama exam. Shows up to exam room in little clean pumps and hair tied in two pony tails. Faces the examiner and tells her she's up for Lamda Grade 2, and here's the exerpt she'll be reading today: "I'm the Chocolate Cock! I'm the handsomest bird in the world, for I am the Chocolate Cock!"
That story was just wrong in so many, MANY ways.
[9 photographs developed.]
bwahahha died to laughter again but as i was saying the other day..it's ok if it's in other languages cos in chinese it'll be simply 'qiao ke li gong ji' which is really not lewd sounding at all!
Primary school kids are trying to collect badges for the school avid reader programme. Little kid approaches a Reading Mom to whom he needs to demonstrate his reading of an exerpt from his favourite book
sure brings back memories =)
[limin] or, 'qiao ke li gong ji' could be the worst of all.
[dre] haha, i knew you'd get that one. i wonder if they still have it?
i dont see how 'qiao ke li gong ji' could be that bad.. but the english version sounds like porn. i am a bit embarrassed to speak too loudly when telling kai about this on the train
ooh i think u should bold the first sentence.. it is positively sleazy
HAHAHAHAHA. omg. I do believe i've never read that particular story O_o
haha. good one en =)
i wonder what eating a chocolate cock is like..
probably tastes like chicken... everything tastes like chicken.
omg, i've actually eaten it before. there's this old school mexican dish called "pollo en molo"... something like that... they cook chicken with chocolate (actually, it's ground cocoa beans, but still!)