Saturday, 2nd December '06
Will it Blend? That is the Question.
No really, my question is entirely different. And I will get 'round to explaining that once you've seen this video:
Thank you to Mr John Mayer for blogging this video in order to vouch for a product he was just given as a present, hence bringing it to my attention. I wouldn't put it past him to stick 50 marbles in his blender just for the pure heck of it.
But my question is really this: celebrity endorsements aside, how much do YOU really want a blender that has the capacity to pulverise 50 marbles to glass dust in a matter of minutes. Mind you, that was just on the Ice Cream setting alone - apparently the least impressive situation of spinning blades the blender has to offer. God only knows what will happen should you turn it to "TurboBlend" mode.
Perhaps we'll soon be able to use the household kitchen appliances to separate atoms into their constituent protons and neutrons, nuclear reactors be damned. Chuck in some good ol' fashioned uranium isotope and Kahblooey! North Korea's gonna want a piece of this action! But since I've recently heard from my resident Mac guru (nod to David L.) that all luxury items, including iPods, have been banned from the land of the radioactive misiles, the chances that Kim Jong Il will be messing around with an absurdly powerful mincing device are rather slim.
So seriously, if you're not a serial killer in desperate need to dispose of recently dismembered body parts, and you have no immediate desire to manufacture a pile of sawdust for your pet hamster from the leg of an old Ikea chair, what do you need with this kind of obscenely superflous power? I see myself losing 4 fingers to this monster before I feel tempted to add ground aluminum can extract, essence of compact disc and powdered broomstick to my Coca Cola.
I say shelve this blender right up there with the Japanese samurai Steak Knives you can chop firewood with and the indestructible Fountain Pens that you can use for stabbing holes in a concrete wall.
There are children in Africa who don't even have normal food processors, you sinful wastrel!
[2 photographs developed.]
Maple Story Mesos: