Monday, 26th November '07
Of Prunes and Ginseng
Popped into the house after Family Law and Probate Paper today thinking it would be nice to see my cupboards coming up.
Arrived to see horribly wrong, too-small desk being built in, along with hammered holes in the once perfectly painted walls for shelves that WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, and other shelves of completely wrong dimensions such that they could never be used to store things that I was supposed to store (read: law school files).
All dimensions had been specifically told to and recorded by the interior designer about a month ago, when I sat down with him and painstakingly and in my completely anal retentive way took him through every single measurement of every single shelf and woodwork. We spent three hours ensuring that every dimension in my room was accounted for.
WHAT HAS HE DONE? He has made a not-to-scale artist impression with shelves in the wrong places (which had a month ago been pointed out to him to be wrong, please remove), given it to the unfortunate carpenter, who has proceeded to make all the woodwork with nothing but his best guesses as to what the appropriate lengths, heights and widths are.
You know, it would have been alright had these matters not been discussed previously in such mind-numbing detail, but having taken the time to explain it all over and over and over to him, it's simply abhorrent (not to mention rude) that he chose to ignore every last shred of it and not even have the common courtesy to tell me.
The very kind carpenter then explained to me that the designer never told him that the picture was outdated, never gave him any sort of instructions, but it's ok, that he will take it all down and start again. Which made me feel so terribly bad for him, because that's his whole morning and half his afternoon's work gone completely to waste. Not to mention that holes have been bored into the complete wrong walls, so that means that the painters and plasterers have to come back in and fix it all over again.
It's utterly sickening that one designer's complete disregard for very material instructions from the client only serve to negate the handiwork of all the hardworking smaller people. I mean, if I were the carpenter, I'd loathe to seen the fruit of my sweat have to be torn down for completely no good reason.
It is also absolutely disgusting how my interior designer - almost a fiduciary of sorts, if you take into account that we trust him to act in our best interests and according to our instructions - disregards them with impunity and then has the sheer gall to ask us for a recommendation of his services. It flies in the face of all that is reasonable in this world that we have paid a company like this to completely fuck up every little task that comes their way.
So as you can see, my interior designer, in addition to being a bald face liar, is now also a slimey little cock-sucking, fuck-faced cunt muscle. He'd better pray I don't see him anytime before I calm down because I will hit him so hard, his grandfather's gonna get a bruise. And if he dares to try to tell me this is the standard, and we pay him to apply his concept, I'm just going to take a bite of his jugular vein with my bare teeth and watch him bleed slowly to death on the floor while I pick the spare meat out of my teeth with a toothpick. After which, I'll flay his skin to make lampshades for the hall and get a taxidermist to mount his head on my entertainment room wall, as a constant reminder of what it took to get this house done nicely.
In the meantime, I hope his testicles shrivel up like two prunes and his dick dries up like a piece of 1000-year old ginseng.
p/s: Dear reader, I hope you've realised by now that I'm a little bit angry.
[3 photographs developed.]
you forgot the 'may the fleas from a thousand camels infest your armpits' bit... =)
hope you feel better soon! *huggle* buy the carpenter a drink =)
goood grief. i see that mugging intensely and the process of getting this house done has been taking a toll on u. well freedom awaits heh. that's my only consolation. - and um i can detect ur anger without the explicit detail in which u wanted to execute it on the interior designer -
hey hey... don't stress yourself out too much k... though i must agree that your designer shouldn't even call himself that...
but your carpenter is awfully nice .. i guess you win some and lose some eh...
hope your tests are going well... argh... i am starting to be stressed now... *bleah*