Wednesday, 4th February '09
It's amazing what a bit of well-adjustedness can do.
I feel so downright happy these days, it's unbelievable. In retrospect I lost the fun part of me rather a bit in a couple of months back... I only knew how to do one thing, and as an old Physics teacher used to say, "You do-do-do, then you do-do-do...". He was referring to doing the working to solve some A-level Physics questions of some sort, but it applies too. A couple of months back, all I knew how to do was, well, to do.
Recession, economic depression... whatever. The world isn't in a good mood these days but I'm feeling better every day. I feel like a good daughter for having time to spend with the parents. I feel like a responsible dog owner for having time to train Nitro. Just out of interest, he's unsettlingly good at rolling over these days, particularly when I have a bit of Springo in hand. I no longer feel like a jerk for blowing off friends last minute, or not even having the energy to see them at all. Like I said, I'm happy!
The best part is I feel creative again. I write things now because I want to, not because I have to, or because Qiong has come after me with the "WHY HAVE YOU NOT BLOGGED IN AGES?" sledgehammer. I make sarcastic, snide remarks and maybe even make someone laugh. I compete with certain persons to make the most excruciating corny joke available, in order to make other people's jaws drop in horror. I scour the Internet for interesting pictures and devote nights to reconfiguring the icons in my iMac. I potter around dangerously in the System folder and type things into the Terminal that I am really not qualified to do (not at least without risking the whole OS). I reorganize the documents in the My Documents folders. I bake. I come with with lofty aspirations to design desktop wallpaper that I may never keep. I sing (read: yodel tunelessly) to songs on Gold 90 FM that were probably written before my parents were born. I choreograph, and bang my head on furniture to come up with something usable. After that I decide I hate it and come up with something entirely difference. Then I worry no one will like it or worse, compare it to Wade friggin' Robson. I am choreographed, and ache terribly afterward. I doodle. I feel something other than tired, something like joy, love, adrenaline and endorphins, and I make something of it.
May have taken a while to finally figure out, but all this really is just... well... necessary.
[4 photographs developed.]
heyyy i dont' come after you with a sledgehammer anymore!!! maybe i used to but these days it's like the pot calling the kettle black =)
anyway, just popping by to *glomp* you, and thanks for remembering my bday =) hahahahahahaha
i promise i will do the music memes and whatnot soon =)
p.s. you sound....free! haha. i'm somewhat jealous you've reached that point. Right now everything still seems to be bludgeoning me over my head right when i least expect it lol
it is rapidly disappearing however. maybe i'm just approaching a zen like state. but i know what you mean about bludgeoning... :S
of course i'll remember your birthday. it's the easiest one to remember next to stephane lambiel's. haha.
lol, likewise for yours LOL the exact reverse thing is very convenient =)