Tuesday, 19th May '09

Ways to Avoid Myocardial Infarction (and Other Similarly Dramatic, Colloquially Referred to Stress-Related Diseases)

The things people do. Good grief. I wonder if there is a medical name for "acute stupidity". If there isn't, there should be. Or I will resort to calling it "make-me-clench-my-fists-and-shake-them-at-the-heavens-opathy".

So. In some effort to avoid having a coronary at some premature juncture in my life, I have decided to take a leaf out of Gregory House's book and turn to the healing powers of angst, sarcasm and just plain being rude. For many reasons, I would urge you not to search for meaning in the ensuing phrases... it'll be a futile activity seeing as I

(i) Tend to ham things up for artistic purposes. Seriously. No one wants to read an angsty gripe that isn't dripping with loathing. No angsty gripe worth its salt can be crafted with anything but searing hate in mind. Imagine how effective a phrase such as this is:

"A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats; a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking, whoreson, glass-gazing, super-serviceable, finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir to a mongrel bitch..."
-- William Shakespeare, King Lear, 2.2


As opposed to the more modern:

"You suck!"


(ii) Have been storing angsty gripes for quite a while and will now proceed to play them all "out of season". Meaning that if you're looking to tie anything down to a recent event... sorry.

So the thought of the season is this: "That answer is so far down on the evolutionary ladder... are you sure you've even got opposable thumbs?"

I've been trying to refine this one for a while now. Trying to work this one out in such a way that it has a bit more of a ring to it... something with better metre or a little pithier. Work in progress.

However, paying with Nitro today I realised there is truth to that statement. I mean, I told him to fetch his ball. He fetched his ball. Told him to give me the cloth. He gave me the cloth. Told him to give me the bone. He gave me the bone. That's better than some humans can do with other four-lettered commonplace items.



en ying snapped a shot of life @ 02:10 am
[1 photograph developed.]


1 photograph developed.

limz:

i like this angsty gripe hehe. and i can see u've worked on this thought for a while. good smile





name:
smilies:
smile shocked sad
big grin razz *wink wink* hey baby
angry, grr blush confused
cool crazy cry
sleepy hehe LOL
plain jane rolls eyes satisfied