Monday, 26th November '07

Of Prunes and Ginseng

Popped into the house after Family Law and Probate Paper today thinking it would be nice to see my cupboards coming up.

Arrived to see horribly wrong, too-small desk being built in, along with hammered holes in the once perfectly painted walls for shelves that WERE NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, and other shelves of completely wrong dimensions such that they could never be used to store things that I was supposed to store (read: law school files).

All dimensions had been specifically told to and recorded by the interior designer about a month ago, when I sat down with him and painstakingly and in my completely anal retentive way took him through every single measurement of every single shelf and woodwork. We spent three hours ensuring that every dimension in my room was accounted for.

WHAT HAS HE DONE? He has made a not-to-scale artist impression with shelves in the wrong places (which had a month ago been pointed out to him to be wrong, please remove), given it to the unfortunate carpenter, who has proceeded to make all the woodwork with nothing but his best guesses as to what the appropriate lengths, heights and widths are.

You know, it would have been alright had these matters not been discussed previously in such mind-numbing detail, but having taken the time to explain it all over and over and over to him, it's simply abhorrent (not to mention rude) that he chose to ignore every last shred of it and not even have the common courtesy to tell me.

The very kind carpenter then explained to me that the designer never told him that the picture was outdated, never gave him any sort of instructions, but it's ok, that he will take it all down and start again. Which made me feel so terribly bad for him, because that's his whole morning and half his afternoon's work gone completely to waste. Not to mention that holes have been bored into the complete wrong walls, so that means that the painters and plasterers have to come back in and fix it all over again.

It's utterly sickening that one designer's complete disregard for very material instructions from the client only serve to negate the handiwork of all the hardworking smaller people. I mean, if I were the carpenter, I'd loathe to seen the fruit of my sweat have to be torn down for completely no good reason.

It is also absolutely disgusting how my interior designer - almost a fiduciary of sorts, if you take into account that we trust him to act in our best interests and according to our instructions - disregards them with impunity and then has the sheer gall to ask us for a recommendation of his services. It flies in the face of all that is reasonable in this world that we have paid a company like this to completely fuck up every little task that comes their way.

So as you can see, my interior designer, in addition to being a bald face liar, is now also a slimey little cock-sucking, fuck-faced cunt muscle. He'd better pray I don't see him anytime before I calm down because I will hit him so hard, his grandfather's gonna get a bruise. And if he dares to try to tell me this is the standard, and we pay him to apply his concept, I'm just going to take a bite of his jugular vein with my bare teeth and watch him bleed slowly to death on the floor while I pick the spare meat out of my teeth with a toothpick. After which, I'll flay his skin to make lampshades for the hall and get a taxidermist to mount his head on my entertainment room wall, as a constant reminder of what it took to get this house done nicely.

In the meantime, I hope his testicles shrivel up like two prunes and his dick dries up like a piece of 1000-year old ginseng.

p/s: Dear reader, I hope you've realised by now that I'm a little bit angry.

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 02:46 pm
[3 photographs developed.]


Sunday, 25th November '07

Beaucoup Bad Shit, Part Deux

And so the construction guys finally get around to washing out the toiletbowl (see previous entry), with Dad watching like a hawk the whole time:

---


Washing man scoops out shit and pours water into bowl to wash out the residue. Slooshes water plus residue around somewhat, and then starts to splash it around the sides and rim of the toiletbowl to wash the rest of it.

Dad turns green. Then, possibly ripens into a nice shade of purple.

Dad: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Man: Ha! Don't need to worry one. This water is clean. CAN DRINK.

---


Some people don't seem to get the concept of "even-if-you-poured-Dom-Perignon-in-there-I-wouldn't-drink-it".

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 01:00 am
[3 photographs developed.]


Saturday, 24th November '07

Beaucoup Bad Shit

The interior designer / contractor / whatever people have reached a new low. They are, quite literally, crappy.

How do I know this? Because this morning, some bright spark decided to take a dump in our brand new, master bedroom toilet bowl. And it's not that I mind sharing our private WC with the construction guys. I really really don't. I understand that a man has needs. I'm even willing to let him take a shit at the expense of my getting to christian that little porcelain beauty for the first time.

What I DON'T understand is this: why did he choose to do a number 2 in a toilet bowl that WASN'T EVEN FREAKING CONNECTED yet?!

Because all it means now is that THERE WAS NO WATER IN THE BOWL at the time, IT CANNOT BE FLUSHED AWAY, and, as of the time Mum and Dad discovered it, had probably been sitting there incubating for a few hours.

Oh. My. Gawd.

What was he waiting for - for it to grow wings and fly away? And how the flying f*ck is that going to happen?

There are no words to describe how mad my parents are now.

I'm trying very hard to find the silver lining in all this.

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 01:29 am
[1 photograph developed.]


Thursday, 22nd November '07

Why, When I Finally Get Into Media, I Will Do It OVERSEAS.

Newsflash, 30 November 2007. The MDA has removed the video from their website for reasons which have not been publicly released. Trust me, they are juicy reasons. In fact, given what I've heard passed along the grapevine, I'm actually now very much looking forward to going back to work.

In the meanwhile, thank goodness for YouTube.



---


So. The Media Development Authority's senior management staff came up with a rap. Thanks to Han and Alex, resident law school cynics and snide-remark-makers (and I say this with immense gratitude for all the laughs), I've come to hear about it too.

It's the MDA senior management staff RAPPING. Yes, it is as horrifying as it sounds.

I'm no hiphop aficionado, but even I know that words such as "consolidating data and building", "service oriented architecture" and "internal systems integration" do not lend themselves to sufficiently achieving Snoop Doggy Dogg flava.

And don't even get me started on the editing. I sincerely hope they meant it as a joke. Go ahead, it's honestly worth watching this video just to get a kick out of how bad it is, the subsequent irony of them waxing lyrical about how we will bring Singapore productions to the international stage and well, that miserable line "China, Cannes, here we come!"

So as Alex does, the only thing left to do is sing along.

Yes yes y'all, we don't stop, get creative can do rock on!

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 01:28 am
[2 photographs developed.]


Wednesday, 21st November '07

Yet Another A Niu Song

IPOD shuffle has this funny way of spitting out songs that after years of non-listening, I suddenly hear with a more mature heart, and see in a totally new light. There's no way I would have understood this song the same way when I first heard it in 1998.

It's like how David Marshall said he read the definition of "murder" (was it murder?) a 100 times and each time found a new meaning to it.

So I'm not blogging the whole thing, as I usually do. The one salient line will do.

Here it is: today's epiphany, much more succinctly than I could have done by myself:

只有曾经真心付出的人才懂得何为哭,为何哭。泪水要记得为真心保留,眼泪别白白的流。"


en ying snapped a shot of life @ 11:24 pm
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]


Tuesday, 6th November '07

?

My new interior designer has drafted a new contract to replace the grotesquely inadequate one that the company first drew up a couple of months ago, and that led to this whole acrimonious haggling over the origin of certain tiles and just a general lot of pain for all involved.

Here is a segment from the NEW CONTRACT that he now wants my parents to SIGN TO FORM A BINDING CONTRACT:


Description
Amount ($)
I. SHOWER SCREEN
1. To supply and install 1 no. of shower screen with casement tempered glass door (12mm).
?


The lawyer in me wants to die.


en ying snapped a shot of life @ 10:04 pm
[2 photographs developed.]


Sunday, 4th November '07

Now Playing?

Running a test on the latest cool PHP thingamajig I found. It's not very new, I know. But humour me.



en ying snapped a shot of life @ 01:44 pm
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]


Saturday, 3rd November '07

Censorship Ratings

I feel like such a good girl. rolls eyes



They must have missed that Entourage entry. Or the one about the spam emails.

en ying snapped a shot of life @ 08:23 pm
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]


Friday, 2nd November '07

How to Shower

*Is amused.*



And see this too. The bit on "seducing" totally knocked me over, it was so bloody accurate.



en ying snapped a shot of life @ 11:56 am
[well, the pictures aren't going to take themselves!]